Hamburg was a show where the venue had been upgraded, leading to one irate fan calling us ‘douche bags’ as if we’d chosen to be more popular than he was happy with. During the gig itself some of our fans were engaged in bubble blowing down at the front, which made for an interesting juxtaposition during songs about abortions and funerals.
Cologne came next, featuring tour’s smallest venue that appeared to double as a strip club. Before the show we recorded a session outside in the street that put the gig in some jeopardy, such were the affects of the freezing winds on our hands and fingertips. Back in the warm we managed to work up a fine sweat to a very appreciative crowd, although none of them were excited enough to have a go on the pole by the front door.
Amsterdam was next. Our collective stomachs demanded the famous local chips should fill them and a walk around town to find these took in the local sights of the central station, the canal and several ladies of leisure on the look out for pleasure in return for your treasure. We were sharing our venue with Scottish noise warriors MOGWAI, who are LOUD. This made the acoustic numbers performed by SPRING OFFENSIVE and us slightly less intimate than intended. Due to MOGWAI’s early finish and a lax policy regarding which gig you’d paid for, many of their fans spilled into our room, leading to a larger crowd, which was no bad thing.
Our show in Wiesbaden followed, taking place in a sprawling left wing cultural centre. Ben made use of the onstage architecture, using moments when he wasn’t stroking his keyboard to perform chin-ups that had a small portion of the mostly female crowd whooping with delight. This partly explains the crowd’s insistence on not one but two encores.
After this point my mind turns to mush. This was the tour where none of us shaved. By the end of it Ralph led the way for density of facial foliage, with Ben putting in a decent effort with an overgrown goatee that resembled the whiskers of a walrus. Waistlines expanded at the rate of three inches per hour; I now weigh 110kgs.
Our deepest thanks go to everyone who came to see us play. There are some places at home where it’s a struggle to get people to our gigs, so being able to play our first headline tour in foreign fields to rooms that were mostly full or sold out was really humbling, as well as telling us we’re doing something right.
Thanks also go to Pelham Groom for saving our tour, everyone who let us stay, Alice James for planning the tour and Siobhain Brackenridge for carrying out said plan, Christina Doerr for her merchandising and Germanic knowhow and Jamie Tinsley for his sound skills.
We’ll see you soon Europe, you were most kind. Josh
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